Things They've Said

Chloe: Isn't that hiLAIRious!?!
(pause)
Mom, isn't it hilarious when I say "hiLAIRious"?

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Me: Why did you get a bad conduct grade?
Connor (whispering): I don't want to tell you.
Me: It's okay, you can tell me.
Connor: Iusedpottywords.
Me: What? What's a potty word?
Connor (whispering and mortified): Weiner.
Me: Uh, okay, who did you say this to? And what were you talking about. I need some context!
Connor (after several minutes of hemming and hawing): Well, I took the wrapper off of a crayon, and I said that now it was naked, and looked like a weiner.
Me: Hahahahahahaaaa! Ooops, I mean, let's talk about when those words are appropriate and when they aren't. . .
(Seriously- I've never heard him use the word "weiner" before. We tend to use the real words at our house.)

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Chloe (in full sing-song Chloe voice): Mo-ooom! When did youuuuuu. . . uh, Whyyyyy did the . . . uh, Knock Knock!

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Connor: You know Mom, it is pretty funny when she says, "Hilarious."