Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Kids say the darndest things...

Remember that show? It was so annoying to me. Now look at me, 10 years later, a doting father. And a bigger dadnerd than Bill Cosby. With better taste in sweaters.

More wisdom from the 2 1/2 year old:

Connor and I were sitting at the kitchen table debating the meaning of life, when Steph walked in and unleashed an alarming pregnancy fart. Connor instantly turned to her and said, "Go POTTY, Mommy!"


After another stressful potty episode (they ALL are where Connor is concerned... that boy can fumigate a downtown office building), Connor got up and said "Dassa BIG poop." I looked and nodded in agreement. As if to make sure I knew what I was looking at, he said, "Dat's CRAP, Dad." Thanks, man. Who the $#$@ taught him the word "crap"?


Hmm, there's a theme to these anecdotes... perhaps I should move on. Christmas was very exciting for us this year. I'll save the pics and such for another post.

Happy Holidays!


Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Bonus post

Since that last picture sucked, I figured I'd better put up a better one.

Connor wants Santa to bring him a guitar. I mean, I'm sure there are many things he'd like Santa to bring him, but I used my Jedi mind tricks on him and now when asked "What is Santa going to bring you?" he says, "A guitar!*" I feel certain he won't be disappointed. I just hope dad isn't too disappointed if his son plays lefty.

*When asked any question, his new response is to say "Idon'tknow," whether he knows or not. So if you asked, "Hey Connor, what's the theory of relativity?" he'd say, "Idon'tknow!" but if you asked "What is Santa going to bring you?" he would say, "Idon'tknowaguitar!"

Connor's stage debut

First of all, yes I know this is a crappy picture. The no-flash pictures gave me nothing, and the flash pictures flashed on the heads of people right in front of me instead of the kids. But you get the idea.

In case you can't tell which white, blond-haired kid is Connor, he's second from the left (?) in the snowman sweatshirt.

The program was in the Fellowship Hall at Idlewild, and it was standing room only. First the Unicorns came out and shook instruments and twirled around to Run Run Rudolph- very cute. Then they were "claimed" by their parents and the Toucans came out and jingled some bells while singing "Jingle Bells." They looked pretty amazed by all of the people in the room (except for a couple of kids whom you could tell were used to performing at church or somewhere). None of the Toucans cried- something that can't be said for the Unicorns! And surprisingly, I didn't cry either. Not at the program, anyway. But I digress. After the Toucans were rescued from the stage by their parents, the 3-year-olds (Koalas? It doesn't cleverly incorporate the number so I can't remember it. They should be the Triceratops or the Three-peats or something.) sang a couple of songs- really sang!- and then the 4-year-olds sang (Quadrapeds? Forefathers? I have no idea.), then the two oldest classes gave us the big finale of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." It was fun, and we figure we will be able to sell the video footage to VH1 someday for this one girl's Behind the Music episode. (She was a pro! Reminded me of Sandra Korpitz.)

Afterwards we went to Huey's and saw at least two of Connor's classmates. It seemed so grown up to be at a restaurant and run into some of your friends! We got home late, so he got to skip his bath. (Meaning today he smells smokey like Huey's. Nice!) As he was getting ready for bed (well, pooping, but that put tears in my eyes for different reasons) he looked at me out of the blue and said, "All those people were clapping! Did you clap, Mommy?" It was too much! So I recreated the times I clapped and why, and he was very happy. And so was I!

Sunday, December 11, 2005


Miscellaneous conversations with a 2.5 year-old:

The other day, I took Connor to school. Right by our house, I turn one way when I take Connor, and the other way when I don't. I made the wrong turn, but then quickly turned back the right way. Connor said, "We not going that way, daddy."
Me: "Yes, Connor, I almost went the wrong way, didn't I?"
C: "We not going that way daddy."
Me: "Nope, we're going this way."
C: "We not going that way daddy."
Me: ...
C: "We not going that way daddy."
Me: ...
(See, I think sometimes he slips into this Tourette's mode, and I just chose to ignore him, perhaps to impart the fact that it's socially inappropriate to say the same thing more than 3 times in a row. Probably not good parenting, but...)
C: "We not going that way daddy. We not going that way daddy. We not going that way daddy."
Me: ...
C: "We not going that way daddy. We not going that way daddy. We not going that way daddy. We not going that way daddy. We not going that way daddy. We not going that way daddy."

I had in fact turned to stone by that point.

I guess at that point Connor felt he had lost me, with all the silence...
so he said, "Daddy! I talking to YOU! We not going that way!"

Perhaps ignoring him is not the way to go with this.

Another random quote:
After a particularly stressful bathroom episode:
"Daddy, I pooped a dinosaur!"

Where does he get this stuff from?