Growing Up

May 2009

Monday, Chloe began her first day of summer camp as a rising Kindergartener. Today, Connor had his last day of Second Grade. I no longer have any kids on the preschool hall at Idlewild Children's Center. I no longer have preschoolers! I do still have two sweet babies, though.

May 2011

Quotes

Ugh! More of your old-fashioned music!
-Chloe, upon being forced to listen to Temple of the Dog, Hunger Strike

While listening to The Morning Rush with Will and Peter on Sports 56:
Will: The Grizzlies just don't have anyone who can create his own shot off the dribble!
Connor: Uh, OJ Mayo?
Peter: Well, except maybe OJ Mayo.
Connor: THANK YOU

First Birthday Party

See more pictures here.

Grit, Grinding Out Some Housework

On the Pot

Yes, I know how much you folks love Chockley tales of poop. Like Connor pontificating at 2 1/2 about the subject, the 2006 gas station debacle, or the Christmas Poop Story.

So here are new words of scatalogical wisdom, heard from across the house as Chloe performed her daily duty (heh) the other day:

"Maaaaaaan, I'm doin' some HARD business in here!"

...followed several minutes later by:

"POOP, there it is! POOP there it is!"

Thirty-Nine!

Happy birthday to the best husband and dad in the world!

Mama

The thing about becoming a mother is that you suddenly understand what "love" really means. I mean yes, I loved my husband and my family and friends before I had kids, but once Connor showed up it all changed. I now loved at this deep level that I hadn't even known existed. Not just Connor, either- everyone.

It was Connor's presence that suddenly made me cry every time I hear Beyonce's "Crazy In Love." (Totally not weird that that's our song, right?) It was Connor's presence that reminded me that I couldn't live without Chip. And most surprisingly, it was Connor's presence that made me fall in love with my own mother all over again.

Because, holy shit y'all, the way I love this baby right here? My mom loves ME that much! ME! That realization floored me. I knew that she loved me, of course, but as I've stated above, I didn't actually know what love meant. And now that I did, I was amazed. I'd call her up and say, "How did you ever let me ride my bike around the block? Didn't you die a small death when I went out of your sight?" and she'd assure me that by the time we get there, it will be difficult, but manageable. I'd call another day, in tears, demanding to know how she ever let me move out of the house and go to college. Because I never ever wanted Connor to do that. I wanted him to live with me until I got old and died! And Mom would assure me that, by the time he's 18, I'll be begging him to go to college in a different city.

She was right, of course. It does get easier to be away from your children as they get older and don't need quite as much protecting. But I still hope that when my babies grow up, they move into a house a mile away from mine and call me on the phone every day and remember, always, how much I love them. Just like I did when I grew up.

Memphis Ball Boy

It's been sort of quiet here lately, and that's because I didn't want to bore you with the sole topic that is dominating our everyday life: Basketball. See, the NBA Playoffs have started. Usually, that's something that only effects me and Chip. This year, with the Grizzlies' exciting run, the playoffs have become more important- not only to the city of Memphis, but also to our own Connor.

In the past several months, Connor has really started to care about watching basketball. This trend started during the C-USA and NCAA tournaments, when he fell in love with the Tigers. It's like a light switch went off, and he realized that a) this team has my city name on their jersey, and b) there are real people wearing those jerseys! Seemingly overnight, he knew all the players' names and jersey numbers. He followed that tournament religiously, even cheering for a UConn victory just to bug me since I was pulling for Butler. When it was over, he said, "Now what?"

Much earlier in the season, he had attended his first NBA game, Memphis vs. Detroit. He had also started playing NBA games on his handheld gaming devices. He was learning who all the players were, what their numbers are, etc. Once March Madness was over and his civic pride had kicked in, his interest went from "general NBA" to "GRIZZLIES." He begged to stay up and watch their games, he studied the programs Chip and I brought home from games we attended, and he really started listening to sports radio when in the car with me. Following the playoff race was exciting for him. Who would be seeded where? Would the Grizzlies slip in? Who and when will we play!

Towards the end of the season, I managed to secure a couple of FANTASTIC tickets for me and Connor for a game against the Spurs (pictured above). Connor watched the warm-ups like it was his job, and by the time the game started, he told me who was and was not going to have a good game. And he was dead on. Since the playoffs have started, he has watched with the same intensity. He's stayed up late watching games on TV, he has talked to us about all the series with a surprising knowledge of them all, and he has not let his growl towel leave his side. He sleeps with it, he carries it to school in his backpack, and he waves it during every game we watch.

It was only fitting that I splurged on a ticket for him to attend Game 6 against the Spurs last Friday night. (By "splurged" I mean "bought a $25 nosebleed seat.") I checked him out of school early so that we could get Downtown ahead of the massive crowds gathering to watch the Grizzlies, the Redbirds, and the Beale Street Music Festival. We went to the team store and bought him a t-shirt and a Grizzlies bracelet (the thick rubber kind) and then cheered the Grizzlies on to a first round victory. He had an amazing time, and proceeded to wear that Grizzlies shirt to sleep in, all the next day, and then to sleep in again. We finally peeled it off of him Sunday morning and soaked him in a nice long shower. The shower, incidentally, is the only time he has taken off his Grizzlies bracelet in the past week.

His blossoming love affair with basketball, and with the Grizzlies in particular, has been fun to watch. It's just another way he seems more and more grown up to me on a daily basis. It's been a joy to have this common interest to share with him, after years of just tolerating his interest in the movie Cars or playing endless games of Memory. I'm almost worried about the void that will appear in his life when the NBA Champion is finally crowned! But not too worried- we've got a whole team of Redbirds whose jersey numbers Connor doesn't know yet.

All pictures appear courtesy of my iPhone. In no way do they reflect the talents of Chip Chockley Photography!

Seaside Sunset

A couple of years ago, I was inspired by a really incredible photog from Flickr-- Lisa Lucky-- to take some wide-angle photos of the kids in front of a beach sunset.  I loved what she got here and here.  I asked Lisa how she got some of her shots, and she gave me some pointers.  The biggest tip?  You're at Mother Nature's mercy.  You just can't create a beautiful sunset-- it has to be there for you to work with.  So, I bought the wide-angle lens I'd been lusting after, and waited for beach vacation time to come around.

Lisa was right.  In the whole week we were there, there was *one* day with a sunset that was close to what I wanted.  I mean, all sunsets in Seaside are beautiful, but this masterpiece was the one that would really sing in a photo.  After checking every day, I saw it, and ordered the kids out to the beach immediately.  They took direction well-- just hold hands and walk away from me!  Of course, I've learned a lot since then, and see things that I'd change now.

For the past several months, the folks at Cottage Rental Agency-- the company that handles all the real estate and rentals in Seaside-- have been running a contest:  "Picture Yourself in Seaside."  I sent in this picture and didn't think much of it for several months.  And now, I find out that I won the Grand Prize!  Four days and three nights in Seaside!  Thanks CRA!  Let me unfold my remarks here.  I'd... uh... like to thank the Academy, Lisa for the inspiration, Mother Nature for the awesome view, and my kids for being cooperative and cute.

Grizzness Time

Grizz win!  Grizz win!

In our first playoff appearance since 2006, the Grizz are making the rest of the league pay attention to the gritty, grinding style we play here.  We made a respectable showing in the first two games in San Antonio, stealing homecourt advantage with a 1-1 split.

Cullen, Steph and I showed up downtown at 4:00 p.m. yesterday to drink up the Grizz fever (among other things).  It's amazing how much sports can bring a city together.  It's the same feeling of community spirit that we have when the Tigers make NCAA runs, except, you know, grittier and grindier.

Pre-game drinks and bites came at our favorite South Main gastropub, South of Beale.

Even more than an hour before tipoff, the plaza out in front of the Forum was hoppin'.

The white Growl towels were draped on every seat when we walked in.

I don't have much from the actual game, as I was too busy wringing my hands and cussing.  But this is the final result:

Grizz up 2-1!  Game 4 is Monday.  I'll be there.

Seen Memphis

Recently, I was approached by the lovely and talented Sophorn McRae of Norococo to be a part of a cool new Memphis street photography blog, Seen Memphis.  I'm humbled by the talent of the six other photogs who are participating, and I think it could be something really cool.  I haven't actually done a ton of this kind of photography (at least not in my hometown), but I look forward to doing more of it for this project.  Check out Seen Memphis here.

Chloe at the Doctor

A month or so ago, Chip and I had this conversation:

"Chip, you know it's time for Chloe to have her five-year check-up and she has to get SHOTS so you need to make that appointment and take her."
"I know."

I took Connor to one doctor's appointment once that involved shots. It was about seven and a half years ago, and I swore I would never do it again. They're so heartbroken when the nurse sticks those needles in! I don't want to be associated with that in my kids' minds! Plus it makes me cry, and that doesn't really help anyone calm down in a tense situation.

A few days before the appointment, I warned Chloe what was going to happen. She's too old for us to just spring that on her at the last minute- she would feel too betrayed by that. Besides, she's our logical child and I trusted her to make sense of it in her mind ahead of time. And it seemed like she did! Sure she cried when I first told her, but then she worked on coming to terms with it. She talked to us and to her teachers and to anyone who would listen about how, on Thursday, she was going to have CLUE and then have her shots and then have an Easter egg hunt in our back yard. That was her treat for dealing with the indignity of shots- her own egg hunt that Connor didn't get to take part in. (He helped me hide the eggs instead.)

Chip and Chloe had a grand time with Dr. Davis Thursday afternoon. After talking to her a bit, he determined that, "She's definitely ready for kindergarten!" Her weight, 52 pounds, is in the 95th percentile for her age. Her height, 4 feet exactly, is off the chart. Way above the 99th percentile. (Although really, it seems like there's not very much room above 99th. But I won't argue.) Chip texted me that things were going fine.

And then the needles arrived.

Apparently, and I don't really have all the details, there was hysterical wailing and thrashing about, and then Chip tried to distract her with candy and she choked on it, and eventually they had to call in several people to help hold her down while the shots went in. GOOD TIMES.

By the time she and her dad stopped at Baskin-Robbins and made it home for the Easter egg hunt, she was all smiles. She even laughed about what a fit she'd thrown! And that, my friends, is why Chip is in charge of taking the kids for their vaccinations.

Weekend Happenings

Friday night we delighted the children by giving in to months of pressure and letting them watch the Karate Kid remake with Jackie Chan and Will Smith's son. Chloe ran around hugging us and telling us we were the best parents ever. I'm really not sure why this was so important to them, but whatever. And let me say- it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be! Connor and I both cried during part of it, and we all felt good at the end. But all in all, I think the kids were a bit young to see the ass-kicking that Little Smith took during the movie. I know, I'm a prude. They aren't scarred for life or anything, but maybe I'm not as good a parent as Chloe thinks I am.

Saturday dawned cold and dreary and I totally skipped out on the opening weekend of the Farmer's Market. I went to Jazzercise instead! I made the kids help me do some cleaning with the promise we'd go see Rio at the movie theater if they were helpful. The truth was, Chip was off taking pictures somewhere and I was tired of trying to entertain them on a cold and dreary day!

The movie, Rio, was cute. I really appreciated that it was a kids' movie that told a story for kids. It didn't spend a lot of time winking at the parents or telling a story that was over the kids' heads in order to interest the adults. (I'm looking at YOU, Rango.) It's okay if parents are a little bored at kids' movies. It's rated G- I know I'm not the target audience. I just want my kids to be happy. And they really were- they talked about their favorite characters and lines the whole way home.

When we came out of the movies, it was sunny and warm! Crazy! I took the kids to Mom's to spend the night, and Chip and I made our first ever visit to the Shelby Farms Greenline. Scandalous, I know! We borrowed friends' bikes and rode to Shelby Farms and back. It's as awesome as everyone tells you it is. I can see why real estate values along the Greenline are going up- I totally want to buy four bikes and a house near a Greenline entrance after that experience.

Sunday morning we were at Woodland Discovery Playground by 9:30- perfect! Not too many people at all, and we didn't even have to stand in line to ride the cool swings. We thought maybe the novelty had worn off, but when we left about an hour later the place was really starting to fill up. So for now, the key is to get there early. And my blog readership is small enough that I can spill that secret without worrying that future early trips will be ruined by the influx of people who saw my tip.

We spent as much of the beautiful day outside as we could- before noon, of course, when we hunkered down on the couch to watch the Grizzlies win their very first playoff game ever! It was SO AWESOME!!!!! I'm still riding that high. Then Connor's good friend, Kelton, came over to play the afternoon away. Kelton recently moved far, far away and Connor has missed him terribly. He counted down the days until Kelton got here, and was not disappointed. They had a great time! Chloe just sat and watched them play, which seems to be her thing when Connor has a friend over. And she doesn't even have crushes on his friends yet! He doesn't know what he's in for.

Chip and I tried to get our little garden plot ready for planting, which I guess we'll do next weekend. While the kids are out of town! And yes, now it's MY turn to count down the days. . .

Friday Brain Dump

Chloe is insanely scared of two things: bugs and "rain sounds."

The bug thing is new. It almost seems like an affectation, a way to be more of a girly girl, but surely she's not old enough to play those games, right? But suddenly this spring, Chloe will scream and cry and panic whenever she sees a bug, even if it's a gnat flying by. It's totally annoying. I'm hoping she moves past it soon so that each trip outside doesn't have to be so full of drama.

Rain sounds have always been a problem. It started off that she was scared of thunder and lightning, which is certainly fair. For some reason, I think this kind of stuff is louder in her room. Connor has the trees in front of his windows, but Chloe gets all the lightning through hers. But she's gotten so paranoid about it, that now she's even nervous about rain since rain often leads to the more intense thunder and lightning. Oftentimes as I tuck her in, she'll ask, "Is it going to rain tonight?" She needs a heads up. Last night she was in bed with us before the thunder was really roaring. "I hear the rain sounds!"

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Our talented friend Richard did a wonderful job in his Commercial Appeal column of summing up the acheivement test experience in the Memphis City Schools. Allow me to add our take to the mix.

This was Connor's first time to take the test, so our first time experiencing it as parents. (Although I still have TCAP nightmares from my days as a teacher.) I hadn't heard him saying much about it, so I thought maybe his teacher was playing it cool. Not so- on Sunday night, Connor was a bundle of nerves. He went on and on about needing to get a good night's sleep and eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast. He was adamant that it needed to be cereal! I realized that he has no idea that all the directives handed out at school weren't aimed at us. They were aimed at people who let their kids stay up all night and then don't feed them breakfast! I said, "Son! We feed you breakfast every morning! Eat what you normally eat and you'll do fine." I didn't step in on the sleeping thing, though. He wanted to get right in bed after his bath, skipping 15 minutes or so of reading time. (We read before the bath instead.) I figured it was in my best interest NOT to point out that he goes to sleep by 8:30 each night and gets about ten hours in before I wake him up. I'd hate to give him the idea that that other people sleep less and maybe he should be staying up later!

I volunteered to proctor the TCAPs a couple of days, and was worried I would have some kind of traumatic flashbacks to my days as a teacher. And I did feel a little bit of that panic. The TCAPs are the main reason I quit teaching- I found myself teaching kids these specific skills and not just teaching them how to learn, you know? And also, I just couldn't handle the idea that my worth as a teacher was judged on how these kids performed on this test. I would walk up and down the aisles of my classroom, silently willing them to pick up the pace, or to stop and think about that one because it looks like there are two correct answers but only one is right!, or just dying inside as I saw answers my best student had marked incorrectly- I know I taught you better than that! I hated that part of the job, that it seemed nothing else I did all year meant anything, just that week of testing. And at that point it was totally out of my hands. I'm too much of a control freak for that. I need a job where my annual evaluation is based on what I've done, rather than what 20 10-year-olds have done. I like going back and volunteering with the kids here and there, but I doubt I will ever relax enough to be able to enjoy teaching as a career again.

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Chip and I spent the week fighting a spring cold. Sunday evening I had a sore throat and a little sinus pressure, along with some sneezing. I thought it was allergies from being outside all weekend. By Monday my nose was gushing, by Tuesday I had a slight fever, by Wednesday it was all in my chest, and by now I feel okay except for the raw skin around my nose from all the nose-blowing. But by Wednesday, Chip started feeling bad too, and went through the same progression of symptoms. So now I'm thinking it was a bug of some kind. Fortunately, the kids didn't get it. But it made for kind of a long week for us. I'm looking forward to putting it behind us and moving on to a great Memphis weekend, one involving the Memphis Farmer's Market and the NBA playoffs! Go Grizzlies!

My Boy

Y'all, Connor isn't my baby anymore. He's not even a little boy- the only thing I can think to say is that he's a kid these days. It's just as bittersweet as I always imagined it would be.

He's still a mama's boy, which does make it more sweet than bitter most of the time. And he has finally, after more than seven years without it, discovered empathy. He realizes that there is a world that exists outside the one between his ears. So when it's bedtime and Chloe is boasting how it's Mommy's night to read to her, Connor quickly retorts that he's glad Dad is reading to him- he doesn't want Dad's feelings to be hurt, and hates to see Chloe act the way he knows he has acted over the past several years towards his dad. He has confided to me that his favorite part of the day is when he snuggles in bed with a parent and we read a book together. I can't think of anything I've ever been told that has made me happier.

The book thing is a huge win for the ol' parents, considering Connor is becoming a gamer. He really loves to play with his Nintendo DS and Sony PSP. So much so, in fact, that we spend a lot of time monitoring how much time he's spending on them, and forcing him to turn them off. And though he's not always quick to comply (don't worry, he gets in trouble), he doesn't do a lot of complaining once the device is off. So somewhere in there he's learning a bit of self-control. Just a bit.


His real passion in life is basketball- playing it and watching it. Intently. He knows everyone who plays for every team, and knows what their jersey numbers are. If I say, "The Lakers won last night," he immediately asks, "What was the score?" as if I can keep that many numbers in my head. So he has learned how to look it up on the ESPN Scorecenter app on my phone. Recently, he and I sat fourth row center at a Grizzlies game. By the end of the warmups, he knew who was going to have a good game and why. And he was right. This is just a dream come true for me and Chip (and a nightmare for Chloe who hates watching sports). We're currently considering mulitple basketball camps over the summer, and Connor is super-excited- despite the fact that he "won't know anyone." The lure of basketball trumps the fear of the unknown.

For some reason all of this just seems terribly grown up to me. Connor seems to have matured so much in just the past four or five months- it's a growth spurt as shocking as when Chloe wakes up unable to fit into yesterday's pants. I suddenly see the young man he's going to become, and in some ways it's very rewarding. But I do miss my baby, just a little bit.

Food! Glorious Food!

Luckily for RJA, today is the day I post pictures of my food on the internet. Check out my review of Chava's over at Dining with Monkeys, and put it on your list of things to do while in St. Louis.

Nobody's Fool

Pranks I did NOT pull on April Fool's Day include:

Telling my boss that the hundreds of letters that were signed, sealed, and stamped, yet contained a glaring typo, had accidentally gotten mailed before I could shred them.

Giving my boss a stack of newly printed, correctly written letters, only putting a horribly mangled letter on top so she'd think they were all wrong and had to be reprinted yet again.*

*Fact: I'm terrified of my boss and would never have actually done either of these. Another awesome prank I did not pull on her a few months ago was to bring maternity clothes and stuffing for all the thirty-something females in my office to wear on her first day back from maternity leave. Surprise! Guess what we all did while you were away!

Dressing Connor in Chloe's clothes, Chloe in Connor's clothes, and me in Chip's clothes to greet Chip for breakfast. Unfortunately, Chip was standing in line at the school board so we did not get to have an April Fool's breakfast together. Otherwise, this TOTALLY would have happened.

Serving a plate of spaghetti with dirt sauce, grass, bugs, etc., for dinner, and the kids and I would calmly act like it was normal while Chip grossed out. My kids are too sensitive about food, though, and couldn't pretend to like normal spaghetti, let alone gross spaghetti, so we shelved this one quickly.

Prank we did play on April Fool's Day:

The kids hid in the dining room. When Chip came home, I lured him into the den and talked to him normally for a minute while the kids ran outside and jumped in his backseat. Then I asked Chip where the kids were and flipped out because he didn't get them. I grabbed the phone to call Idlewild while Chip jumped in the car to go get them. Surprise! They were hiding in the back seat and jumped up and yelled, "APRIL FOOLS!"**

**The kids were super-excited about this prank, and I knew it would be devastating when a) Chip got home before we did, b) the back door beeped when they opened it to sneak out, and c) Chip's car doors were locked. So I asked him to get home after us, leave the back door open and his car unlocked when he got home. It may have tipped him off that something hinky was going on, but at least the prank got to play out as smoothly in real life as it did in my kids' imaginations. So I'll mark this one down as a success!

Leftovers

I kept thinking Chip would share some kind of photographic essay about our spring break trip to St. Louis. He didn't. So I'll share pictures of the kids from St. Louis instead!

We hit the Forest Park area for the first time, which contains both the zoo and Turtle Park. The zoo was sprawling- very different from our own zoo. The animals had much better environments in which to live. However, that meant you could walk a long time and not really see any animals. So, good for them, but maybe not as much fun for us. It was free, so I was happy with the animals I did see! Very close to the zoo was Turtle Park, which is basically a bunch of concrete right next to the interstate. Bad location, and really quite dangerous. But the photo ops are nice.

Forest Park is 500 acres larger than Central Park. Huge! I know there's a lot more to explore there, and I hope we will on a future, warmer, visit.

Finally, the obligatory picture of the Arch.

More Birthday Madness

Our original idea for Chloe's party this year was to have it at the Collierville Animal Shelter. I had heard they had a party room, and Chloe was enthusiastic. In my mind I came up with some awesome theme decorations and party favors. We were ready! Unfortunately, due to understaffing, the shelter has quit hosting parties. Uh oh- back to square one.

I decided to shoot for the moon, and give Chloe every option in the book. Zoo? Chuck E. Cheese? Children's Museum? Build-A-Bear? What's it going to be? She chose the one option I had purposefully left out. "I want to do Chick-Fil-A again!" Instead of Build-A-Bear? Really? "Mom, there's no FOOD at Build-A-Bear!"

As usual, the kids had lots of fun at Chick-Fil-A, eating and playing and fighting over balloons for perfectly-timed ninety minutes. Chloe was thrilled to play with her friends, have her family close by, and to open lots of Barbie, Princess, and Barbie-Princess gifts. A great end to a week of celebrating! Her dedication to the concept of "Birthday Week" definitely made her Leo mama proud.

Thanks to everyone who helped make her feel special! See you again next year- hopefully at a new location, but you never know. . .

(Photos are all by Bwana Chockley, due to the fact that Chip sat in a corner during the party, suffering from a stomach virus.)

Birthday Fun

As part of our Spring Break extravanganza, we all stayed home on Chloe's birthday. She made it clear that she would only accept this arrangement if Connor knew it was "her day." He understood.

She woke up to lots of fun presents and breakfast at Cafe Eclectic. Then we saw Rango and stopped at Muddy's. Not a bad way to celebrate turning five!