Hanging in There

Many of you have asked, so let me answer: This week is in fact going much better for us. Connor has quit being nuts at home, even though he is still getting in a bit of trouble at school. But since I'm not at school to see it, what do I care?

At home, the night terrors have scaled back from screaming, thrashing fits to short bouts of sleepwalking. Last night he got up, and Chip went to check on him. "I can't sleep," Connor mumbled. Chip replied with, "Uh, buddy? I think you ARE asleep." This seemed logical to everyone, so Connor hopped back in bed and fell immediately into undisturbed slumber.

At school, Connor talks too much. You're laughing and saying, "Of course he does! He's YOUR child!" But what you might not know about me is that I'm a rule follower, and when I was in elementary school I was the classic teacher's pet. I think I received one conduct check in all of elementary school, and never got anything but an E in conduct on my report card. If we weren't supposed to talk, I did NOT talk. Breaking the rules wasn't an option! Sadly, Connor is not afflicted with this same unquestioning respect for a teacher's authority.

So there we have it! Week two of grade two is turning out better than week one, and that's really all I could ask for.

Forty

Whole slideshow here.

Jailhouse Rock

I have a relative who is in jail. I used to have a close relationship with this relative, but we drifted apart long before she landed in the big house. Her birthday was this week, and the kids overheard me mentioning it to Shannon on the phone.

"WHAT!? Your (familial relationship) (first name) is in JAIL!?!?!"

I told Shannon that I would have to call him back, then I turned to face the barrage of questions.

Is she in CHAINS?
Will they give her dinner tonight?
How can it be her birthday if she's in jail?
When she was a little girl, was she bad then too?
How long is she in for?
What did she even do?
How is she your (familial relationship) if she's not your friend?

I loved that last question, although I didn't know how to answer it. The line between friends and family is so thin in our lives, it's hard for my kids to understand the concept of a distant relative, or in particular, a relative who was not also a friend. All I could tell the kids was that I was sad things had turned out the way they did, and that she probably isn't in chains. Yet.

Week One

This week sucked.

Those of you who have known Connor for the last seven years are NOT surprised by this fact. I'm not surprised either, but for some reason my foreknowledge of how this week would go didn't make it any easier on me.

As expected, Connor DID NOT want to go to school. He hates school, just like I did when I was in elementary school. Also, he particularly hates transitions and changes and all the other things that are specific to the first day of school, just like my father did when he was young. (I've been told he had to be medicated. That's starting to sound like a viable plan for Connor.)

As expected, Connor felt threatened by the loss of control that accompanies starting a new class with new rules and a new warden, er, teacher to impose them. Also expected was how, in response, he aggressively tried to exert control over his home life. Quite frankly- can I say this about my kid?- he's been a real ass this week. I love him dearly, but there's no other way to describe it. And he's been in trouble a LOT, both at home and at school. I mean really, a frowny face on day four? This is the impression he wants to give his new teacher?

But the new wrinkle this year is that Connor's night terrors have really ramped up. Usually they only affect him once every month or two, but in the past ten days or so he's had night terrors all but three nights. He sits up in bed and starts thrashing his head around, screaming and making strange gutteral noises and generally giving me an ulcer. They've been horrible, and much harder to pull him out of than ever before. And we've NEVER had them all in a row like this. Fortunately, he doesn't really remember it the next morning. So he might not be emotionally scarred by the process, but Chip and I sure are!

My amateur diagnosis is that he's had them worse this year because he's trying to mature a bit, trying to hold in some of his anxiety during waking hours. When I dropped him off on the first day of school, he didn't cling to me, or cry, or any of that business. He had to be cool around his friends. But I think he still had to work those feelings out in some way, and maybe he's doing it in his dreams. Or I could be totally wrong. I just hope he grows out of these nightmares before too much longer.

Last night as I tucked him in, I pointed out that Fridays are awesome and this week is almost over. "It doesn't matter," he whined. "Next week will be just like this one!"

God I hope not.

Caprese

We've gotten some awesome heirloom tomatoes lately, both from the farmer's market, and from our own garden. There is just so much flavor in these-- sweet and acidic, fresh and complex. That mealy thing you get at the grocery store is just not the same vegetable at all. The basil, which is some of the biggest I've ever seen, is from Whitton Farms.

Two Little Fishies

Remember back when I lamented that my kids were skittish at the Rhodes pool, and refused to do anything but hang on me? Times have changed.

Yes, that's Chloe swimming to the wall in water that's at least half a foot over her head. A couple of months ago, she would jump in the shallow end of the pool only if you were right next to the wall to "catch" her. Now she doesn't care where you are. We saw a friend of hers from school who said, "Chloe, why don't you have to wear floaties?" She felt pretty cool after that.

And here's Connor, who just two weeks ago told me he'd never jump off the board at the Rhodes pool. He also, just yesterday morning, told me he couldn't swim the length of the pool. Then yesterday afternoon, he swam the length of the pool. He still insists he's not going to be on a swim team next spring. We'll see about that.

My lady

Today is the day we celebrate the birthday of the queen of our house (and large portions of the world, in fact)-- Stephanie!  Happy Birthday, and I hope you have a wonderful day!  I mean, I know it will be wonderful, because I'll be involved in it.  Except for that hour this afternoon when the kids and I let you go on shopping spree alone.

In honor of your birthday, I shall post beautiful pictures that I have taken of you!

Adventures in Wedding Photography

In the past year or so, I've been shooting weddings, which is a lot of fun.  The other day, I shot one with my friend Jay Adkins, who has been a professional photographer for longer than I've been a lawyer.  Say hi to Jay:

(That's what we both looked like in the middle of a 90-plus-degree outdoor reception.)

This wedding was at a small chapel in Olive Branch.  After the lovely ceremony, everyone headed to the reception, which was a couple of miles away.  Jay and I had about an hour to kill with the wedding couple, as they weren't "allowed" at the reception yet.

We sat quietly in the chapel, talking with the couple about how beautiful the ceremony had been, brainstorming for some post-wedding photos in the chapel and the cemetery behind it.  Suddenly we heard an ear-splitting screech, followed by several deep thuds and crashes.  We exchanged dumbfounded glances for a few seconds, and tore out of the chapel toward the road, about 75 yards away.  The bride was afraid that a member of her family was involved, since they had all just recently left.  She was an impressive sight, still fully dressed in her gown and train from the wedding, tearing across the lawn at full speed toward what we by then saw was a flipped vehicle.

A 17-year old kid was crawling out the back window of his car.  Miraculously, he only had some cuts on his hands.  He had lost control of his car going over the hill in front of the chapel, and flipped the car several times.  The bride and groom immediately sat down with him, comforting him, trying to calm him down.  Jay and I still had our cameras around our necks.  We exchanged a knowing silent glance, which said, "Hey-- how can we NOT shoot this?"

Chloe's Big Day

Yesterday, Chloe had her first real play date. Her best friend's dad picked the two girls up from school and took them home to play- I wasn't involved at all. Chloe was a little apprehensive the night before, but had a wonderful time (of course).

Then we went to Target to buy a birthday present for another of Chloe's friends, and to buy new helmets for the kids. Chloe has been riding Connor's bike lately (the one he won't take the training wheels off of) and Connor has been riding his scooter, and they've both been doing it with EXPOSED HEADS. That's right- we're those parents. Connor's helmet had been left outside and got moldy and yucky, and Chloe's helmet was too tight, so somewhere along the way they quit wearing them. A perfect excuse for a trip to Target.

We got there and start trying on helmets. Connor tried on one that said "Ages 5+"- it was too tight. So we went to the next size in a different brand that was for "Ages 8+"- perfect.

But Chloe. I started with the "Ages 8+" helmet, since we all know her head is bigger than that of your average five-year-old. It was cuuuute, too, brown with these little pink flowers on the bottom. I would totally wear a skirt in that pattern. We tried it on, and it rested on the crown of her head. Did not come close to fitting. So, in shock, I picked up the "Ages 14+" helmet and shoved it forcefully over her noggin. "NO!! TOO TIGHT!!!" she screamed while clawing it off. And that is how my sweet, delicate, four-year-old daughter ended up going home with an adult-sized bicycle helment. ADULT.

I don't even know what to say about that.

Diver Down

Chloe has an unorthodox move off the diving board. As you can see from this series of pictures, it's no accident- it's just her style.

Swim Team

Mom has friends who are out of town for a few weeks. They live very close to us, so they asked, "Sandra, would your daughter and her family like to use our pool while we're gone?" We answered with a resounding "HELL YES."

The kids are much more comfortable in a small, empty pool, like a hotel or backyard pool, than they are at Rhodes where it's huge, and deep, and super-crowded. In the more intimate setting, they are happy to swim like fishes, take turns jumping off the diving board, and chase after toys on the bottom of the pool. At Rhodes, they cling to the sides or to me. (Well, Chloe does. Connor's about over that.)

When I noted their comfort with the diving board and suggested they both try the diving board next time we're at Rhodes, they both answered with a resounding "HELL NO." So what I'm saying is, come August 3 I'm going to need an open invitation to someone's pool. It's going to be sad when we no longer have our own private backyard oasis- even if it's someone else's back yard.

Faces of Chloe

So Hot in Herrre

Posting has been light the last few days, because we've been too hot to type anything. That's right- our air went out. It made for a long, hot weekend followed by a week disrupted by repairmen, loud (temporary) window units, and sleepovers at Grammy's.

The thing about air conditioners- they are expensive. And they aren't something you save up for- one day they go out, and then you have to buy a new one. It sucks. It especially sucks since, in theory, we'd like to move out of this house. But the more money I put into it, the less I want to leave. I'd hate to live somewhere else while still paying for improvements made to this house. Sigh. First world problems, right?

Our exposure to the heat has been balanced out nicely by our conveniently-timed access to a neighborhood pool. A friend of Mom's was planning an extended vacation and asked, "Would Stephanie and her family like to use our pool while we're gone?" Bless this woman who doesn't know me from Adam, and bless my mama for being the kind of wonderful woman that people like to offer things to. We have enjoyed swimming and plunging off the diving board and jumping around on the trampoline conveniently located in this same back yard.

So anyway, the air should be fixed soon, possibly even tonight. If you are currently enjoying cold air in your own home, but any part of your unit is older than, say, 10 years old, I suggest you start saving your pennies. This particular rainy day is going to come in the middle of a hot, dry, Memphis summer. You'll want to be more prepared than we were.

Chloe and Maisy?

This is me at age three and Shannon at about two months. It looks eerily familiar.

As Sung By Chloe

When I was a kid, I could not for the life of me work out the lyric, "changes come around real soon make us women and men," from Jack & Diane. I didn't have a specific alternate lyric to sing instead, but I was pretty sure there was something about swimming. . . and then.

Chloe doesn't operate with this same ambiguity. She isn't correct in most of the lyrics she sings, but she is consistent. And CONVICTED. I've tried, in the past, to offer up the correct lyrics. I thought she might appreciate this gesture, since she was clearly struggling. No. Her lyrics are THE lyrics, and I'm stupid to suggest otherwise.

A sampling:

Come on little beat it, BEAT IT!
-Beat It, Michael Jackson

Don't stop! Believe it!
-Don't Stop Believin', Journey

Wake up! Grandma won't you put a little makeup!
-Chop Suey, System of a Down

(However, she does have a lot of this song down cold.)

Cause it's a thriller, in the night!
-Thriller, MJ

Billie Jean's
Not my loooove
She's just a girl
And that, I am the one
But, the chid is
Not my son
- Billie Jean, MJ

This video is at least six months old. She never wavers.

Best Mojito Evah

Ok, so the fact that I want to write about booze again instead of my kids might mean something.

Maybe that the kids actually make me enjoy drinking even more than I naturally do?

Steph and I have always sorta liked mojitos, but not really looooved them.  Until now.  Here's the recipe for the Blended Golden Mojito, courtesy of the July Bon Appetit, also found at Epicurious.com:

• Sugar (for coating rims of glasses)
• 1 lime wedge
• 1 cup gold (not dark) rum
• 1/2 cup (generous) fresh lime juice
• 1/3 cup sugar or light agave nectar
• 4 to 5 cups ice cubes
• 12 fresh mint leaves plus 4 mint sprigs for garnish

All of this goes into a blender, so that there are little flecks of mint everywhere, which I find preferable to the muddled mush that is at the bottom of your glass in a traditional mojito.  I didn't have gold rum, so I just used the plain ol' white Bacardi, and it was fine.  I did use agave nectar, which I think is a perfect sweetener for mixed drinks.

This one's a winner.

Bubbs

You and Your Cousins

It's very fitting right now that "Cousins" by Vampire Weekend is one of my kids' favorite songs. We spent the weekend singing it to each other with lots of creative lyrics! My kids are thrilled to have met their very first first cousin.

Michigan Millers

While we were Ann Arbor, we went to their awesome summer festival, Top of the Park. It's like the Levitt Shell series on steroids. It's helped by the fact that the weather is much milder and the sun doesn't set until well after 9:00 each night! We also ate lots of expensive sandwiches and swam a ton in the hotel pool.

The kids fell completely in love with their cousin. Connor said, "Mom, you're right! She smells soooo good!" Chloe wanted to touch her all the time, which I think was more fun for Chloe than for Maisy. But they managed to both come away unscathed.

I'll say this out loud, which will surely jinx it- the kids have been so good in the car this summer! On our trip to the beach, and also on this trip, they were patient and calm and generally occupied themselves without a lot of whining. I guess maybe they are maturing a little bit.

We already miss Maisy, Carrie and Shannon terribly! We all hope to see you again soon.

Maisy Daisy