Monday, September 10, 2012

That's Entertainment

Friday night was movie (and hot fudge sundae) night for Team Chockleyblog. OF COURSE, Connor and Chloe stood at the Redbox for several hours arguing over what to rent. (This is why we got the movie before heading into Kroger for our treats- that ice cream would have been soup by the time this ordeal had finished.) Connor was pushing for The Three Stooges or Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Chloe wanted We Bought a Zoo. I was super-excited that both The Rock and Matt Damon were in play here, so I upped our rental from one movie or two. Then Connor stood there trying to argue that our two movies should be the two he wanted to see. Seriously? The ego on that kid! When pressed to pick ONE, he picked the damn Three Stooges movie. SMH!

If you know anything about We Bought a Zoo, then you aren't suprised to hear that I cried for the entire two hours. ENTIRE. TWO. HOURS. I occasionally had to leave the room to gather my composure and not scare the kids. I was definitely surprised by how much I enjoyed it. The only glaring problem was that 40-something widower Matt Damon, who has two kids, is going to have his rebound relationship with 20-something ScarJo. Who happens to be the head zookeeper. When they break up, things are going to be AWKWARD. I mean, she obviously will have to get a new job, and she's been working there since she was a teenager! She can probably sue him, though, once they get to that point. Probably.

And then, movie #2. I can't rationally discuss the cinematic shit stain that is The Three Stooges. Here are the bits and pieces that my therapist and I have recovered through hypnosis, as I try to salvage parts of my life that were lost that night:
There are nuns in this movie, and they are played by Jane Lynch, Jennifer Hudson, Kate Upton, and Larry David.
Any movie with Sofia Vergara should be rated at least PG-13, just based on her body looking like that.
The entire cast of Jersey Shore is prominently featured in this movie, giving it the timeless quality you would expect from a Three Stooges vehicle.
When Sofia Vergara came on screen, Chloe said, CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF THE MEATBALLS! and that was the funniest thing that happened the whole movie.
The DVD was damaged, obviously from someone who extracted revenge on the disc after being subjected to the horrors contained within, and it caused the movie to skip ahead at one point, giving me at least ten minutes of my life back. It's the little things that make family movie night special. From now on, I will include the person who scratched that DVD in my nightly prayers.

Next week? Journey 2: The Mysterious Island! But will I be able to follow the plot if I haven't seen Journey 1?

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