Nine

Six for Six

Happy birthday to my smart, beautiful, creative, wildly enthusiastic six-year-old girl! We love you!

Things

I know I didn't mention it, but Connor played basketball for Idlewild again this year. Emerald was our coach again, and we love her, but boy did this season suck. Our team just sucked. I know it's a rec league and is not supposed to be competitive, but I have never seen a group of  kids this uncoordinated in my life. Just awful. The first half of the season, Connor (and maybe I) cried after most games, just out of frustration. But out of loyalty to our awesome coach, we stuck with it, and went to every game and all but one practice. Connor made it through with his love of basketball still intact- something we were honestly worried about there for a minute.

In related news, does anyone know a competitive basketball team that Connor could try out for?

Also there are no pictures because Chip managed to not only skip two of these hideous, painful games but also "forgot" to bring his camera to any of the ones he attended. It might have been for the best.

Chloe can read. She loves school and comes home and tells me everything that happened and everything she learned. It's wonderful, since we've spent four years having this conversation with Connor:

Us: How was school today/what did you learn today/do anything exciting today?
C: Fine.

She came home a few weeks ago telling us everything there is to know about Martin Luther King, Jr. We were like, That's great stuff Chloe! Where did you learn that? and she said, We watched a film in library. And Connor chimes in with, Oh yeah, we watch that video every year. EVERY YEAR he says. Even Chloe rolled her eyes.

So speaking of school and reading and ways my kids are different: So far in 2012 there have been at least three times when Connor had a big project due that he decided not to mention or work on for the two weeks it was assigned, choosing instead to do it all the night before, and only then because I heard about it directly from the teacher rather than from Connor. (My blood pressure went up just typing that.) That kid! His other trick this year is to forget his lunch- it's at home, it's in my car, or it made it to school it's just that the empty lunchbox didn't make it back home. Sigh.

So anyway, this weekend we went to the public library to get sources for an independent project he's working on in CLUE. (Yes, I happened to run into the CLUE teacher last week or else I would have NEVER KNOWN that these sources were due to her last Wednesday.) I'm embarassed to say that it is the first time my kids have ever been to the public library. I think it's because I've always played fast and loose with our money at the bookstore. We used to go to Borders every few weeks, and I'd always let the kids pick out a book or two. I am physically unable to say no to a request for a new book. But now there's no Borders around the corner, and so suddenly the library makes a lot of sense.

I spent a lot of time at the library as a kid, but once I hit college and the library fines started stacking up, I kind of started avoiding the place. I'm pretty sure I would have to pay a lot of money to reinstate my borrowing privileges. So we used Chip's name as the responsible party on their card applications, and everything went smoothly! They both seemed excited about the whole process, although only one of the kids was SUPER excited and came home and read all her books to us and went to school and told her teacher all about her library card and which books she checked out. But the other kid seemed pretty impressed too. We have already marked the due date on the calendar- I'll get them back on time, I promise!

Quotes:
"I'm pulling for whoever wins."
- Connor, while watching the Slam Dunk contest

"Mom, your legs look kind of. . . crinkly."
-Chloe, after seeing me in my underwear

"Mom, you're really good at knowing stuff."
-Connor, in a rare acknowledgement that I know something and he doesn't

More Than Just Friends

Chip and I have liked each other as more than friends for eighteen years now!

Happy anniversary, baby!

Independence

When Connor was born, I spent the first week of his life gazing at him and sobbing about everything that would ever happen in his life. I cried for all the times his heart might be broken- by a friend, a significant other, the death of a pet, not making a team, etc. But I really shed tears over all the things he would do to break my heart. He would marry someone who wasn't ME! He's going to go to college and move out of the house! Drive a car that I'm not a passenger in! Spend the night with friends! So many times when he won't be in my direct line of sight! I called Mom for reassurance. "How did you ever let me ride my bike around the block without watching me do it!!!" She laughed and reminded me for the millionth time that week that when the time came, I would be ready. Then she hung up, shaking her head and giving thanks that I had, in fact, moved out and married someone besides her.

(Fast forward eight and a half years.)

Shortly after Christmas, Connor wanted to know if he and Chloe could ride their bikes in the cove in front of our house if they wore their helmets and promised to pay attention for cars. I hesitated for an instant but told them yes. Then Gidget and I sat at the window, watching them and whimpering because they were out there without us.

(Fast forward another four weeks.)

Yesterday, the kids were on their bikes and the dog and I were on foot. I suggested we go around the little block together, before it was time to go in.

(Pause: When I was growing up, our block was our block. There were no alternate routes that didn't add 2-3 miles and encompass several neighborhoods. Where we live now? A million ways to define our "block." What you need to know- neither the little block nor the big block go on any main roads. Unpause.)

As we started down the street, Connor was itching to pull away from the rest of us slowpokes. "Can I go around the big block?" he asked. I didn't exactly answer. Had the time come? Was I ready? A minute later, he begged again. "Yes," I relented, immediately picturing a thousand bad things that could happen to him the minute he pulled around that corner, out of my sight.

He took off fast, and as I saw him get to the one neighborhood road that had to be crossed, Chloe and I both called out, "LOOK!" He did- I could see his head exaggeratedly swiveling back and forth to assure me that he was looking both ways for cars. Then he rounded the corner. I told myself he would be fine, but not long after I saw a car turn down the road behind him. In my head I couldn't stop repeating, Please watch for my baby. Please don't hit my baby! And they didn't. Another corner and my fast-pedaling Connor met us right where we thought he would. Chloe took off after him, suddenly jealous that he could go fast by himself and she was stuck on training wheels with Mom and Gidget.

Gidget and I made a half-hearted attempt to run after them, but we couldn't keep up. They reached another corner in the distance, and stopped to look back at me. I shook my head yes, and off they went to travel the last few yards to the driveway without me. I followed at my own speed, still holding my breath for a second as I rounded the last corner myself, thrilled to find that we had all made it home just fine. The time came, and we were ready.

Chloe, Concentrating

Sleepover, Chloe Style

When Connor was six, he was finally ready to enter the world of sleepovers. Consequently, since the age of three, Chloe has been insanely jealous of Connor's sleepovers and has counted the days until she and her friends would be "ready."

Keeping with tradition, we figured we'd have a Grauer boy over. We traded Connor for Cannon for the night. Chloe said she was excited that Connor wouldn't be there to bother them. "Although it would be nice if he could be here and see what it's like when NO ONE PAYS ATTENTION TO YOU!!!"

Here they are dancing. Chloe runs a tight ship and didn't let him get away with any bad moves.

I'm pretty sure this was not the original purpose for the air mattress, but it did make them tired enough to actually use it the right way.

On the way back to Cannon's house the next day, they said they wished the sleepover would never end. It was everything Chloe had hoped, and she can't wait for the next one!

Resolute

I generally love making New Year's Resolutions. Last year, I resolved to use coupons and to keep a tally of how much I saved. That tally only lasted through March, but I am still clipping coupons and taking them with me to both the grocery store and to Target. A successful lifestyle change!

This year, I am just not finding any motivation to make resolutions. Some of the things I want to do are just never going to happen.(Start taking vitamins! Pay down some bills!) Other things require too much outside help. (Replace the broken window! Tile the kitchen floor!) And a few seem too easy. (Start bike riding! Play more board games with the kids! Drink more bourbon!)

It's not that I'm perfect and don't need to change anything. I just don't care to make any sweeping changes starting this week. I guess I'll just keep on truckin' along and hope that any improvements come organically over time rather than being forced down my throat in the first week of January.

We Might Need Padded Shorts

You haven't lived until you've watched us try to cross Quince on these things.

The Gun Show

You know, Santa got Nerf guns for the kids this year. I guess he saw how well they had handled the water guns Connor got for his birthday this summer, and thought it might not be that bad an idea.

Connor perhaps took to it a little too enthusiastically.

Chloe's first hit. Bulls eye!

He was so anxious to shoot back at her that he actually helped her get suited up.

Dude, you are doing it wrong.

On her way to putting an eye out.

And now neither kid stands a chance.

Current Issues

There are lots of ways the kids are getting on my nerves right now. Most of them deserve, and receive, disciplinary action. But there's one thing Connor does that I don't know how to deal with. It annoys me to no end, yet I should probably be patient with him. Or should I? Here it is:

Connor has no idea what is going on in the world around him, yet can't stop asking questions about it. Here is an actual conversation that took place between us, which is very representative of a thousand other conversations we've had lately.

In the car on the way home from basketball practice, just me and Connor, listening to continuous Christmas music on The River.
Me: De-liii-laaaah! (Assumes Delilah radio voice) "Of course you do. . ."
C: What?
Me: I'm just impersonating Delilah. She's so smooth.
C: Who's Delilah?
Me: The woman on the radio.
C: But who is she?
Me: She's Delilah. The DJ on the radio. The woman who just said, "Of course you do" real smooth like that.
C: Who?
Me: Those two ladies who were just talking? Not the one who just reunited with her long-lost brother, but the other one.
C: But I don't understand who she is.
Me: She's the DJ! The person who plays records! She talks between songs! You know! The person who works at the radio station! DELILAH!
(Pause)
C: I don't get it.

I mean! OMG! We're miles away, literally and figuratively, from the original, off-handed impersonation of Delilah that started all this. And he's just curious, right? He just wants to understand who she is? But without actually participating in the world that exists outside of his head? I feel bad that, instead of patiently explaining it to him, I just want to run the car off the road into a pole so we'll have something else to talk about. ("I'd better call an ambulance! I'm bleeding after that wreck!" "Wreck? What do you mean?")

This happens pretty much all day every day. And I don't have to be talking to him- he'll start up when I say something to Chip, something that Connor doesn't even need to understand. All. The. Time. It's like he has no idea what's going on, and no interest in keeping up, yet he's deathly afraid that someone knows something he doesn't. It's maddening. But I have to be nice about it, right?

For what it's worth, a few days later we were listening to the radio and the female DJ came on and Connor said, "Oh, she's like Delilah!" So I guess he did get it, eventually, after that sat in his brain for a while. I'll take that as a sign that I shouldn't just ignore him when he starts asking these inane questions. At least not every time.

Showing Off

I've never really had much of my photography printed, but I figured it was about time to have a gallery show. Stacey and I brainstormed about having an exhibition of Rock-n-Romp photos-- shouldn't be hard to do, right? We decided to put it on in conjunction with the December Rock-n-Romp, which just so happened to be held at an art gallery.

I fretted over selection for weeks.  I had 6 years of RnR shows to choose from-- literally thousands of pictures.   Well, take out the first couple of seasons-- I had just gotten a camera back then and had no idea what I was doing.  (Thanks a bunch to Steph, Andria, Stacey, Sweazy, Aimee and Kate for helping me narrow things down.)  Then, I fretted over sizes to order-- larger prints have more impact, but smaller prints allow me to put up more of them.  Then, pricing-- how much is the Rock-n-Romp crowd interested in paying?

I finally narrowed it down to about 30 prints, ordered various sizes, and stocked up on supplies to get all the stuff on the walls. Fellow photog Sophorn McRae showed up the morning of the show to help and thank Buddha she did, because I probably wouldn't have gotten it all done without her.

The show was a success-- I sold several prints and people seemed to really enjoy it.

After the Rock-n-Romp, I had about 20 prints left, so we brainstormed again about what to do with them. Leslie Gower of the Downtown Memphis Commission had the brilliant idea to put them in the windows of a vacant storefront downtown.  The space at the corner of Union and Main sees a ton of traffic, both auto and pedestrian, every day.  So yesterday, I put them all up again.  This time, mounted on glass, facing outward, which presented another whole host of logistical stress.  (Thanks for the help, Stacey and Caleb!)

It's been fun to show off my work and to celebrate the awesomeness of Rock-n-Romp.  The prints will be up for a month downtown, so go see it if you're down there!

2011: The Year in Books

This year I set a goal for myself to read 35 books. (I track this information at Goodreads.com.) I reached that number so quickly that I adjusted my goal to 52 books. As of today, I've read 59. I will definitely finish another book this year, if not more. Sixty books! I didn't know I had it in me.

You know me well enough to know that all I really want to do is list these books for you. I'll divide them into categories to make the list more fun. (For you, that is. All lists are fun for me.)

Book Club Selections
Winter's Bone, Daniel Woodrell
Shadow Tag, Louise Erdrich
American Gods, Neil Gaiman
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot
The Uncoupling, Meg Wolitzer
The Invisible Bridge, Julie Orringer
South of Broad, Pat Conroy
Garden Spells, Sarah Addison Allen
The Sparrow, Mary Doria Russell
Bent Road, Lori Roy

Detective Series That I Love
Dublin Murder Squad:
In the Woods, Tana French
The Likeness, Tana French
Faithful Place, Tana French
Dave Robicheaux:
Heaven's Prisoners, James Lee Burke
Dixie City Jam, James Lee Burke
Kenzie & Gennaro:
A Drink Before the War, Dennis Lehane
Darkness, Take My Hand, Dennis Lehane
Jackson Brodie:
Case Histories, Kate Atkinson
One Good Turn, Kate Atkinson
Inspector Kari Vaara:
Snow Angels, James Thompson
Ellie Hatcher:
Angel's Tip, Alafair Burke

Series Written By A Friend, About To Become A Motion Picture Franchise, Probably Starring Brad Pitt
The Gray Man:
On Target, Mark Greaney

Non-Fiction: A List of Books Titles That Require Colons
The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons
Whiter Shades of Pale, Christian Lander
Life, Keith Richards
Bossypants, Tina Fey
Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets, David Simon
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America, Erik Larson
In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin, Erik Larson
I'm a Stranger Here Myself: Notes on Returning to America After 20 Years Away, Bill Bryson
Life Itself, Roger Ebert

Kid Books That I Felt Compelled To Comment On
The Lightning Thief, Rick Riordan
The first Percy Jackson book. They get better as the series progresses, but this first one was not good.
Because of Winn-Dixie, Kate DiCamillo
This book made me and Connor cry, and he declared it his favorite non-Harry Potter book. I cried typing that.

Authors I Will Read Anything By
Bloodbrothers, Richard Price
The Night Gardener, George Pelecanos
Killshot, Elmore Leonard
Sure of You, Armistead Maupin
Long Gone, Alafair Burke
Right as Rain, George Pelecanos

Author I Tried To Like But Just Can't
Winter's Bone, Daniel Woodrell
The Bayou Trilogy: Under the Bright Lights, Muscle for the Wing, and The Ones You Do, Daniel Woodrell

Books I Have Recommended Repeatedly
A Visit From the Goon Squad, Jennifer Egan
The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
The Imperfectionists, Tom Rachman
Ready Player One, Ernest Cline
The Invisible Bridge, Julie Orringer
Bossypants, Tina Fey
In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin, Erik Larson

Books I Did Not Like
The Lightning Thief, Rick Riordan
Rogue Island, Bruce DeSilva
March, Geraldine Brooks
Little Bee, Chris Cleave
Bad Things Happen, Harry Dolan
Robopocalypse, Daniel H. Wilson
South of Broad, Pat Conroy

Books Set In Maine
Empire Falls, Richard Russo
11-22-63, Stephen King (currently reading)

Pulitzer Prize Winners
A Visit From the Goon Squad, Jennifer Egan
March, Geraldine Brooks
Empire Falls, Richard Russo 

Book I Struggled To Finish
Freedom, Jonathan Franzen

Books I Liked Fine, But Had No Other Category For
Last Night in Montreal, Emily St. John Mandel (note: Chip HATED this book)
Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter, Tom Franklin
Blindness, Jose Saramago
The Bean Trees, Barbara Kingsolver
Black Water Rising, Attica Locke
The Good Son, Michael Gruber
The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd
Fuzzy Nation, John Scalzi
Rizzo's War, Lou Manfredo

Book I Love, Love, LOVED and Think You Should Read If You Enjoy A) Crime Stories or B) The Wire
Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets, David Simon

Best Book I Read This Year, and One Of The Best Books I've Read Ever
The Invisible Bridge, Julie Orringer

Time For Shirts!

As you know, I LOVE Christmas, because I am thrilled to have an excuse to buy things for people. In my dream world, I can buy something for everyone. I'm constantly looking for the right present for you!

Many times, these presents are t-shirts. I love funny t-shirts! Of course, I never wear them except to sleep in, and I assume you don't either, so instead of buying them I'll just link to them instead.

Jess H.

Richard Halliburton

Chloe

Kristy 

Lucky Bob

Roy

Me and Tiff (NSFW)

Mom

Shannon

Any Alley 

Gina

Mike Greenberg

Melissa W.

Andria

Kristen H.

Madison Ave.

 Shannon

Sleepover

Friday night, Connor had a friend spend the night. They had basketball practice, and by the time we got them food and got them home, it was 8:30. Time to play! At least that's what Chloe figured, and she jumped right in. And guess what? Connor's friend didn't mind at all! He's an only child, so he thinks it's fun to have a brother and sister duo to keep him company.

But do you know who DID mind? Connor. Of course. Instead of enjoying himself and playing, he spent most of the evening hollering at me to come get Chloe out of his room and away from his guest. His friend just looked at me like, "Whatever- I don't care," whenever I led her to another activity, but Chloe insisted on dramatically sobbing hysterically each time she was rejected by Connor. She kept worming her way back in, though, and by Saturday morning they were all three having a pretty good time together.

It's hard to explain to my kids that brothers and sisters tend to bicker, but can still enjoy each other's company. Even when they are having fun with each other, they refuse to acknowledge it. I thought it was pretty funny when Chloe told Connor's friend that he was "the brother I never had!" I was hoping that would hurt Connor's feelings a little, and make him want to be nicer to Chloe, but he didn't care in the slightest.

The only thing he did to get her back was to accuse her that she "like likes" this friend. Please- she's five. Even Chloe knew to roll her eyes at this pronouncement. I chuckled and assured them that someday they would in fact "like like" each other's friends, and that's when I'd start stepping in to keep everyone separated. They were thoroughly disgusted by this idea, but I got a good laugh out of it.

Ultimately, I don't care if they think they don't like each other, as long as they continue to love each other, which they certainly do. Their bickering drives me crazy sometimes, but it's just par for the course at this age. I know that in a few short years they will become very close, united in their teenage disdain for their parents, and the bickering will be with me rather than with each other. No reason to speed up that process by forcing them to get along now, right?

November

Hello there! How was your November? Ours was. . . busy, I guess. But not in that out of the ordinary way where you end up with some big accomplishment. Just in the way that is becoming the new ordinary: Chip's got a photo shoot, I've got a Jazzercize class, Connor has basketball practice, everyone's got homework, blah blah blah. It seems like this school year has flown by in a daze. I spent the first couple of months waiting on things to "calm down," but they never did. And now I realize that this is just how things are, and I've slowly come to accept that fact and adjust my schedule and expectations accordingly.

The transition wore me out. I kind of liked being in a rut, where we came home, ate dinner, watched a half hour of TV, and put the kids to bed. I knew that couldn't last forever, but I was caught off guard by how quickly it changed. I thought it would be gradual, but adding the second kid to the elementary school mix was somehow the nudge that pushed us over the edge. So here we are, almost at the end of the first semester, and we've finally started to get a handle on things. We can usually get the kids out the door on time in the mornings, with appropriate footwear and complete lunches and corrected homework. (Except for this morning, of course, when Connor left his lunchbox at home.) And we've figured out how to have a life after 5:00, which is the part that had eluded me up to this point. So I guess the point of this story is that we're all happy and doing fine and I'll probably find time to tell you that more often as we move forward.

But what did we do, specifically, in November? You've been holding your breath this whole time, waiting for an update? I guess the highlights are as follows:

Rock n Romp!

A trip to Nashville to throw a Fortieth Anniversary party for the Chockleys. Mazel tov, you two!

To kick off the holidays, we made ravioli.

Thanksgiving weekend was exciting. First, I made lots of side items while Shannon cooked a turkey. Then we decorated the house, but not with enough lights to satisfy Chloe Griswold. But the most exciting thing that happened was that Chip's old band, Native Son, played a reunion concert! It was awesome!

Now we are all bouncing off the walls, looking forward to Santa's visit. And some of us are hinting that maybe we don't think Santa is real, but please know that those individuals would be "pretty mad" to find out that Santa is really just Mom. But do you really think Mom would spend this much on Christmas presents? Ah HA! We let that discussion end on that head scratcher. But I'll keep you up to date as this story develops.

Pumpkin Portraits Part 6

The Chockleys definitely love traditions.  The yearly trips to 30A, the ravioli making at the Alleys', the sausage balls on Christmas morning. Rituals keep us grounded, and allow us to feel secure in who we are.

Or maybe we're just boring.

So back to the same ol' pumpkin patch up the street for October portraits of the kids.  To see the progression from munchkin to ...whatever these large humans are now... see here and here.

Halloween Blues

Halloween weekend was spent getting candy, by any means necessary. (Any means other than taking all the entrance fees we paid at various places and using it to buy candy at the store. That would have been too easy.) We hit Zoo Boo, visited the pumpkin patch, crashed a friend's neighborhood trunk or treat party, and then trunked or treated again at a nearby church. Sounds like fun, right? Not so fast.

Chloe's favorite holiday is Halloween. She complains that I don't decorate the house enough. She has a mental inventory of every decorated house in the neighborhood. She's had this costume planned for a year!

But Sunday night, her energy level started to wane. She picked at her dinner and fell asleep early. Then early Monday morning, she woke up early to go to the bathroom. I thought it was just excitement and too much candy. But a million trips to the bathroom later, we realized she had a stomach bug. She still insisted on getting dressed in her costume and going to the best-decorated house in the neighborhood Monday night, even though she couldn't actually eat any candy she might collect. My poor girl!

Connor gave me a REALLY hard time about skipping the Nerf War Sunday afternoon. No worries- there were Nerf Guns at our friendly neighborhood church party! Just like they shot back in the Old West.

Connor just doesn't really care about Halloween, so on Monday night he stayed home while Chloe put on her costume and ventured out. He managed to amass plenty of candy over the weekend though, so I think he'll be alright. He just has no enthusiasm for this holiday.

Yes, we gave her plenty of treats for being a good sport. I think she agrees with Connor that staying home with no costume on is a fun way to celebrate Halloween.

All in all, we had a fun weekend but the actual day of Halloween turned out to be a real dud for us. I do hope yours was as much fun as your Facebook pictures suggest it was. But now? Bring on Thanksgiving!

Return to 30A

Chockleys made their annual trek down to 30A recently, and a good time was had by all.  October really is a perfect time to go-- the crowds are thinner and the weather was simply perfect.  This trip was especially fun because we stayed in Seaside proper this time.  Thanks to that photo contest I won, this trip was (mostly) free.

I won't bore you with the details-- you know how we do at the beach.  Reading, relaxing, wine, cocktails, naps, fresh seafood, drip castles.  You know.