Grumpy Gus

I have to admit, lately I've been struggling with Connor. He is just such a pessimist!

It's not how the rest of us handle things at all, so Chip, Chloe and I just don't know how to react to his constant grumpy disappointment. And sadly, it dominates the mood of the household even though he is the clear minority and the rest of us try to ignore it.

OK- I've written and erased about a thousand things here, so let me just summarize thusly: Connor is never happy with what you give him. He always wants more, and is devastated when he doesn't get it. It worries me- I hate that he never just enjoys life! He doesn't ever seem to be happy, even when he gets what he asked for. But it also makes me hopeful that maybe he'll be one of those highly motivated people who always strives for more rather than settling for less than what they really want.

Either way, let's just all try to ignore that pout and go on about our happy business, shall we? Believe me though, it's easier said than done.

Birthday Breakfast

You thought I was done with birthday stuff? No, not until you all concede that you wish I planned your birthday celebration each year. Behold, breakfast:

Four!

Hey there Sissy. I'm struggling to figure out what to say about you that isn't an endless string of cliches. You are, in fact, the light of my life. A little ray of sunshine on even my cloudiest day. . .

We are constantly amazed by your wit and your general cheerfulness. You are so easy-going and fun to be around!

And your vocabulary- where did you learn so many words? And why do you feel the need to constantly say all of them for us? Suddenly, all the stories Grammy has told over the years about my prodigious talking skills resonate on a new level.

Although your mouth runs constantly, I don't easily tire of it. You still announce things to us in that sweet, sing-song voice that we feel compelled to impersonate. In fact, whenever I tell my friends something you've said, I find myself repeating it in your special voice.

I love how mature you sometimes seem, as well as what a sweet baby girl you still sometimes are. You are a delight, and I love you. Happy birthday!

Birthday Party Day

Chloe emerged from her bedroom at 7:00 a.m. on Saturday, all decked out in her Sleeping Beauty costume. She was ready- eight hours early. Eventually, I talked her into taking a shower (so her hair could be tamed) and putting on jeans so she would be warm while awaiting the start of her party.

Part of the party prep included her first ever manicure at Sweet and Sassy, all the way out at Wolfchase. It was worth the drive- she loved it.

From there we traveled to TJ Maxx so that she could pick out a party dress that didn't double as a polyester costume containing a hoop skirt. She also selected a fancy purse.

Did I mention that the dress came with a matching outfit for Maggie? She didn't want to be underdressed for the Chick-Fil-A princess party.

The kids had lots of fun playing and eating and screaming and putting their hands all over the Muddy's cupcakes that I brought for the adults in attendance. (The kids were served cow cake, and fought over who got the most black icing.) Once the kids were nice and sugared up, I sent them home. It was a great party, and a great day. Happy (almost) birthday, Princess!

Beautiful Disaster

This morning, Chloe and I looked through her closet and talked about what she was going to wear to her birthday party. She settled on her Sleeping Beauty dress, the one with a hoop skirt that she wore on Halloween.

The she asked me to help her put on her headband. Once it was in place, she went over to the full-length mirror to admire herself. "I like this," she said. "I look good in this headband with this outfit."

I'm in trouble with this one.

Feeling Real Great 'Cause the Weather's Mild

Once Ayden pointed out to my kids that the tree/bush that has been in our backyard their ENTIRE LIVES is awesome for climbing, they spent the rest of the weekend hiding in its branches.

We all spent the whole weekend outside, actually. It's ridiculous how much we needed sun and temps in the high 60s.

I'm not even mad at this rain- 75 degrees means I get to wear a skirt, whether it's raining or not.

I love you, March!

You Might Think He's a Jester

This probably isn't funny to anyone else, but it cracked me up.

At dinner the other night, Chloe asked me, "What's your mom's name?" She knows the answer to this question, but it's normal for her to start questioning me about all our relations, so I didn't think twice. I just said, "Sandra Miller!" and went on eating. Then she said, "Who's Sandra Miller?" and I said, "My mom!" and she cracked up and asked me what my mom's name was. That circular line of questioning continued, and we all laughed at her silly cleverness.

So Connor wanted in on the action, and decided to try a new question. Only, he didn't get it. He was completely unable to recreate the joke. And it made me laugh even harder than Chloe did.
C: Chloe, who's your teacher?
Chloe: Mrs. Hamilton.
C: Who's your teacher?!
Chloe: Mrs. Hamilton!
C: Uh, who's your teacher?
Chloe: Mrs. Hamilton . . .
He was trying so hard, you could see the wheels turning, but even though he tried for several minutes, he could never come up with "Who is Mrs. Hamilton?" Maybe I'm just a horrible person, but I've laughed about that for DAYS.

(Yeah, she's pretty funny.)

Just Creatures For Awhile

I had the bright idea to invite two of Connor's best friends to our house for a sleepover.

 Really, the boys were angels. They played outside, they played inside, they played video games- they even played with Chloe. And most importantly, they realized that big bush in our back yard is great for climbing.

They didn't get to sleep until around 10:30, which you may know is pretty late for Connor. Then they woke up before 5:30. By 3:00 Saturday afternoon, Connor was begging to go to sleep for the night.

I can't wait to do it again! But I really can't wait until they do this at Jamie or Wendy's house.

Jumping Off the Stage

The Kindergarten and First Grade classes at Snowden had a Black History Month program yesterday, almost a full week after that particular month had ended. I appreciate that they are trying to draw out their celebration of African-American achievements, but Connor didn't. He wanted it over with. Wednesday night he finally shared with us his intense stage fright, and Thursday morning when I left him at school, he was in tears. It seems he had done such a good job dancing during rehearsals that he had been moved to the front row. And he didn't want to be there.

Connor gets this from me. Yes, I spent a lot of time in high school dancing around in front of people in a short polyester skirt. But I never liked to perform solo, or really be featured in any way, and I HATE to be a speaker in a large group of people. Can you believe that? I love talking to a bunch of people, but not if I'm at a podium or on a stage- only if we're just hanging out talking. I think it's even a tiny part of the reason I quit teaching- I would regularly blush if I made a mistake in front of the classroom, just because I was always right on the edge of utter embarrassment from being in that spotlight.

When I was a kid, I tried out to be the lead in a musical at church. I think it was summer camp or vacation bible school or something. Anyway, I don't know what possessed me to try out- I have a vague memory that I was visualizing myself doing a good job, and thought I could will myself into it. Long story short, I got the part and then totally stood in one spot and whispered into the mic when the time came. I really wanted no part of it. My mom still makes fun of me about it- it was sort of a disaster.

The point of that is, Connor totally gets this from me. And so I'll always be sensitive to it, and I won't really push him to overcome that fear. It's why I wasn't bothered a few weeks ago when he told me, "I didn't want to try out for a solo." But he was committed to dancing in the front row yesterday, so all I could do was encourage him to try and have fun. And he certainly looked like he was having fun, but afterwards he told me it was hard to smile and that he was glad it's over. After I told him he did a great job and I was proud of him, I agreed that I was glad it was over too.

But I'd Like To Do It Again

On Saturday, we had one last basketball game. Our season was scheduled to end the weekend before, but we missed a game along the way due to weather conditions. So we were forced to end the season with a demoralizing loss to this team:

There was some debate, but I'm pretty sure that's a girl who is guarding Connor. She was built like a truck. And you can see that the rest of their team was at least a head taller than anyone on our team. It was hard to sit through.

That's Connor looking at the scoreboard, wondering, "Is it possible we only scored two points this whole game?" It was, in fact, possible. The sad part was, Connor had a great game the week before, as did the team as a whole, and everyone left the game happy and feeling good about basketball. This week, Connor left the game moaning, "Why did our last game have to be against big kids?"

To add insult to injury, the team members were all given participation trophies after the game, and of course they spelled Connor's name wrong. It fascinates me how often that happens, especially since I know I wrote it correctly on the sign-up sheet. Since Connor was already in a funk about it being the last game, and about the ugly loss (did I mention that he missed two free throws?), the misspelled trophy was just the icing on the cake. He sulked in the car on the way home, but fortunately snapped out of it pretty quickly. The sunshine and relatively warm temperatures helped, I'm sure. I still think I'm going to try to get that trophy replaced, though.

Next up? Coach pitch!

Evidence

I wasn't kidding about the skirt.

(She totally throws like a girl.)

Stop Being So S.A.D.

I've been thinking about doing another "Things I've Bought and Loved" post all week, just because I need to be a bit more positive, and then SAM went and flat-out challenged me to. Sort of. On her urging, here are ten things that make me happy right now.

1. Planning upcoming vacations. (I've tentatively got three beach, one St. Louis, and one Ann Arbor trip on the books.)
2. This lime squeezer. It has changed my life.

3. Books: Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez for me, the Magic Tree House book series for Connor. Suddenly, he's a reader!
4. Party planning for Chloe's birthday
5. Running again, after a few months with a horribly bad back derailed my fitness efforts.
6. Lincoln Park After Dark nail polish from OPI

7. Lost!
8. Jacob's American Idol recaps
9. The expensive, lined, pinstriped Banana Republic pants I bought for $6.99 on ebay.
10. This skirt I bought for Chloe. I wish they had it in my size.

This Is It

I've mentioned it before, but basically my kids are obsessed with Michael Jackson. It all started when he died. We were on vacation when, the day after Connor's birthday, news came that we had lost the King of Pop. Suddenly, his music was playing more regularly on the radio, his videos were constantly shown on TV, and his name seemed to always be on our lips. And my kids were fascinated.

"Why did he die?"
"Why are their zombies in this video?"
"Who is that white lady singing his song in this video?" (answer: MJ)
"Was this song from when he was white or when he was black?"
"Why is he grabbing himself? Does he have to pee?"
"Was he old? Then why did he die?!?"

My kids have never known a person who has died before. They have lost a family pet, and learned a bit about death from that, but quite frankly I've tried to shield them. They basically have a "people and animals get reaaaally old and then they die, okay?" understanding of the whole thing. So hearing us talk about someone who died, someone we had basically grown up with, totally captivated them.

Beyond that, the kids were suddenly watching all of his music videos, all at once, for the first time. I'm sure the radical change in his appearance from song to song was shocking to take in all at once- it had been gradual for the rest of us, so we could sort of make peace with it. We tried to explain things the best we could, without painting too creepy a picture of the man. The kids were satisfied with our answers, and soon begging to listen to and dance along with his songs whenever they could. His music catalog is pretty impressive, after all- we found ourselves surprised that we hadn't really exposed them to it before.

Last fall, the in-laws and I took the kids to see "This Is It." It was a great film, one that had us singing and dancing for days, and we couldn't wait for Chip to see it too. And see it he has, since we bought it as soon as it came out on DVD. Connor and Chloe have spent months singing the songs and practicing the dance moves over and over again, just like we all did when we were young and watching the "Thriller" video on a continuous loop. And Chip and I have been dancing and singing along with them. It's been nice to look at Michael Jackson through the eyes of my kids, ignoring the messy parts. He really was a big part of my youth.

Last week, Connor came home with a school assignment to write a paragraph and create a poster about his hero. There were some suggestions, such as "person we've studied in school," "person who has helped other people," and "person we have celebrated a holiday for." The history major in me started naming a variety of interesting people and what they had done to be considered heroes, when Connor cut me off and said, "Michael Jackson!" There was no talking him out of it, and I guess there's really no need to. He doesn't know about the bad stuff, the controversial court settlement, the fact that dude's face was falling off in chunks, etc. He just knows that MJ has inspired him and tons of other people to sing and dance, and I guess that's enough.

Things They've Said

Chloe: Isn't that hiLAIRious!?!
(pause)
Mom, isn't it hilarious when I say "hiLAIRious"?

*****************************************

Me: Why did you get a bad conduct grade?
Connor (whispering): I don't want to tell you.
Me: It's okay, you can tell me.
Connor: Iusedpottywords.
Me: What? What's a potty word?
Connor (whispering and mortified): Weiner.
Me: Uh, okay, who did you say this to? And what were you talking about. I need some context!
Connor (after several minutes of hemming and hawing): Well, I took the wrapper off of a crayon, and I said that now it was naked, and looked like a weiner.
Me: Hahahahahahaaaa! Ooops, I mean, let's talk about when those words are appropriate and when they aren't. . .
(Seriously- I've never heard him use the word "weiner" before. We tend to use the real words at our house.)

*******************************************************

Chloe (in full sing-song Chloe voice): Mo-ooom! When did youuuuuu. . . uh, Whyyyyy did the . . . uh, Knock Knock!

*******************************************************

Connor: You know Mom, it is pretty funny when she says, "Hilarious."

Barcelona Red

In car any of you ever doubted my zen master level on the scale of geekness, I have now taken artistic photos of a TOYOTA.

I traded in my carriage of yuppy whoopass-ness (Infiniti G35) for a symbol of green geekness, with a side of living-on-the-edge. I'm now always prepared for a quick Fred-Flintstone-style braking.

But seriously-- so far, I love it.

See the whole slideshow here. But be warned-- if you are caught looking at a whole slideshow of artistic pics of a Toyota, your own level of geekness may make several leaps.

Harper is One

Our good friend Harper Morgan turned one on Sunday, so we used it as yet another excuse to get together and celebrate. (This actually happened in the same spot the Carrie/Maisy shower happened the day before. Those Morgans are party people.)

Here are a few shots I got-- check out the whole set here.

Cupcakes and Punch

Despite the fact that a stomach flu swirled around our house this weekend, I still managed to have a wonderful Saturday. Gina, Mom and I threw a shower for Carrie and Maisy, and it was so much fun!

Gina did a great job crafting adorable decorations, and Mom grabbed some always-perfect Muddy's Bakeshop cupcakes, and just like that it was a party.

It was a treat to spend time with Carrie and her baby bump. She is possibly one of the cutest pregnant women I've ever seen, and I'm not just saying that because my niece is in her belly! She's the only person I know who manages to look thinner even as her belly is growing. (Some of us were bloated from 10 weeks onward. No, I'm not bitter.)

Chloe got all decked out in a "party dress" (which some might call a "costume") and enjoyed being included at the girls-only party. However, she was a bit shy and reserved until the end of the event, when the crowd cleared out and the sugar rush kicked in.

Is it possible NOT to melt into a puddle on the floor when confronted with tiny, soft, pink clothing? I think not. It was a great afternoon full of family and friends. I miss Carrie and Shannon already, and can't wait until I can go visit their family of three. Love you!

Charmed

Our cat, Clark W. Griswold Jr. Chockley, is totally codependent and needs your attention. However, he doesn't understand basic social interaction so he bites you as soon as you try to pet him. Then he follows you around wondering why you aren't paying attention to him.

Only Chloe is immune to his abuse. She is somehow able to show him affection that occasionally borders on assault without ending up bloody. I think the only time he has ever bitten her is if someone else got him riled up first. She is definitely going to grow up and work with animals. She thinks veterinarian or animal rescuer (thanks, Diego) but I'm convinced she'll be a lion tamer or a snake charmer.

Unexpected

We woke this morning, following our normal showering and getting everybody ready routine, until Steph happened to look out the window, doing a cartoon doubletake.  It's really so much more fun when it's unexpected.  When Memphis frets for a whole week over winter weather, it's always a letdown.

This was actually enough for a SNOWMAN, which I don't think has happened in these two kids' lifetimes.

See the whole slideshow here.

Poor Uncle Chris

Stream of consciousness ramble from Chloe on the way to school this morning:

"Oooh look, the Memphis Tigers on that building! Mama, that's just like what you have on that t-shirt! And the Titans. You have the Titans on a t-shirt too! The Titans are everyone's favorite team that we know. Except for Uncle Chris! He likes the Eagles! Uncle Chris is from a whole different world. . ."

She Dressed Herself

Red Alert!

Book Club

As you may know, Connor does not like school. I realize this isn't unusual- a lot of kids don't like school- but if you've been paying attention around here, you know that Connor tends to become hysterical when he doesn't like something. He isn't one to shrug it off and say, "Hey- what are you gonna do?" He is one to sob and hatch elaborate home-schooling plans and give me guilt trips about how not all moms have to work and if I loved him I would just STAY HOME AND PLAY WITH HIM.

One thing that might have made school more fun for him would have been getting him into the CLUE program early. I was told by Sassy that I should get him tested before Kindergarten, because the pre-school test doesn't have any reading requirements. I never got it together to get him tested, and he wasn't recommended by his Kindergarten teacher, so he isn't currently in CLUE. I asked his teacher if he could be tested, and she said sure, but warned me that kids need to be reading a couple of grade levels ahead of his peers in order to qualify. Now, Connor certainly isn't reading below grade level or anything, but so far he just hasn't shown a lot of interest in reading on his own. He still sees it as a bit of a chore, rather than something that can be done for pleasure.

I just used a lot of words to say that basically I wish Connor enjoyed both school and reading more than he currently does. At a recent elementary school awards program (Perfect Attendance? I thought I had taught him better than that!) I sat next to a friend who happens to be a first grade teacher and the parent of a first grader. I told her about how Connor hates it all, and she shared that her daughter LOVES school and loves to read. In fact, my friend recently started a book club for her students and her daughter loved the idea so much that she started her own book club with a couple of her classmates at Snowden. To which I said, Oh hell yes! An activity that will give him stronger social ties to school as well as peer pressure to enjoy reading! We would love to invite ourselves to that!

So we did. The next meeting was on a Sunday evening, and it just did not work out for Connor to go. It was the end of a busy weekend, and both kids were a little snotty and puny, and he was too exhausted to make the effot. I was surprisingly frustrated by this. I guess I knew I had been pushy about wrangling an invite and felt stupid not showing up. Plus I just really wanted him to go and enjoy himself and his book. But a wonderful thing happened. He decided to give the book a try on his own, and he DID love it! He read the book over breakfast, he read the book in the car, and by the end of the week he had read a chapter book all by himself and passed an AR test on it and ENJOYED IT. It was magical.

This week he actually attended the book club meeting in person. Four kids came, and they each took turns reading a chapter out loud. I didn't stay to witness this, but I was told that listening to them talk about the story, and help each other with unknown words, was absolutely adorable. Connor reported that it was a good book, and that the two girls were better readers than the two boys, and that he had a good time. And now I've got a son who carries a book around the house with him and smiles at new friends in the hallways at school. It's a start.