Competitive Connor

Connor is not what you would call a "good sport" or "humble" or "someone who can handle it when he's wrong/he loses/he doesn't know somethng." I firmly believe you have to teach your kids what they are and are not good at, and how to be comfortable with both, in order for them to have a healthy self esteem. We're, uh, working on it. But sometimes I just have to laugh.

Last year I bought Connor a Mother's Day-themed shirt with a big foam finger that says "Mom's #1 Fan!" He told me it was stupid (it is) but wore it on Mother's Day anyway. This year I passed it down to Chloe (the fact that it fits her is another story altogether) and Connor was incensed.
"So you mean now I'm not the #1 fan? I don't want to be your #2 fan! She can't have that shirt."

A few days ago I had a last-minute wardrobe change before work. On the drive in, I suddenly realized that perhaps my brightly-colored undergarments might have needed a change too. When we got out of the car, I turned to Connor in desperation.
"Son, can you see my underwear?"
He looked kind of confused, so I tried to clarify.
"Can you tell what color it is when you look at me?"
Never wanting to admit defeat, even when it's the desired response, Connor quickly guessed, "Uh, pink?"

Tuesday morning I got the kids together to tell them the news that their cousin had been born overnight. In order to give them some context for her amazing size, I explained to them that a lot of babies are maybe around seven pounds, but not my two. Connor was almost nine pounds at birth, and everyone said, "What a big baby!" Then Chloe was born, weighing more than nine pounds, and everyone said, "That's REALLY a big baby!" Then I went on to explain that Maisy is almost ten and a half pounds! And that she has a bunch of dark hair, and big cheeks like Chloe, etc etc. Chloe was appropriately charmed, and oohed and aahed about how she can't wait to meet Miss Maisy. Then I noticed Connor was looking at Chloe in disbelief. His response to the big news?
"So you're telling me that she," (pointing at Chloe), "was bigger than I was? No way. No way she was bigger. I'm totally bigger than she is. You're crazy."