Friday, November 16, 2007

Living Vicariously

Recently my imaginary boyfriend (who loves history!) announced that he was going to add a couple more dates to his book tour. He encouraged his readers to email him if we wanted him to consider our city. I immediately sent something along the lines of "Memphis! We want you in Memphis. I mean want to see you. I'll be the first fan there! You'll know which one is me since I'll be the 34-yr-old mother of two wearing a cheerleading uniform. Just think-the sooner we meet, the sooner we can begin our lives together!" I guess he never got that email, because he selected Pittsburgh and Austin as the final cities he would visit. Austin, hmmm- if only I knew an endearingly goofy, extroverted literary-type who lived there and who would consider going to a book-signing for me to be somewhat of a hoot. . . So of course I contacted the fabulous Amy Hall right away, and before you could say "Sports Pickle" she had Nov. 15 on her calendar. "I'll take my camera," she promised.


Last night I received a phone call from Amy after the signing. She apparently thought that by "internet sports satirist" I meant "middle-aged dork with a pot-belly and combover." She was shocked, SHOCKED to find that my high-minded journalist infatuation was actually a desperate-housewife-worthy crush on some young eye candy. She was pleased to report that in addition to being "tempting" he was also humble and articulate. In true Amy fashion, she was second in line and introduced herself as someone who didn't know anything about sports or about him but who was there stalking him on behalf of a friend. He had made a joke about how most of his signings were in the 'burbs so he figures he's developing a strong following among suburban housewives. This lead Amy to assure him that her friend was a part of his key MILF demographic. (What great PR! I'm hiring her to do all my stalking from now on.) She left the signing with pictures and this awesome book inscription which she promises to send to me post haste. Amy Hall, you rock!



5 comments:

An said...

wow, that's funny stuff, how come I never heard of this guy? the * column was great- chip had me stalk pop candy on a happy hour she was having down the street from my place- i explained to her that i read her once and was commissioned to report on the happy hour- sorry no photos but she did take one of me- i did check her blog occasionally to see if she put it up-

Cathy said...

Funny. So when is he coming to Memphis for your "redezvous?"

Stacey Greenberg said...

this sounds like something that i would do!

Melissa said...

This made me laugh out loud. You made my morning.

Secret Agent Mom said...

That is some stellar stalking.